What the frick was I thinking
Showed up, signed up for a 45 minute class. Met the instructor, Susan. Athletic, medium high, enthusiastic, but not annoyingly so.
Three other people came into the class. Looked at the small, thin seat on the bike. Got on the bike. My bony butt and the stick attempting to be a seat meet. My underpants become a thong as the seat wedges itself between my cheeks. No seat padding, bony butt… comfort city.
So I pry my butt off the seat a bit and find a position that is mot very uncomfortable and started pedaling.
Nice, easy. I am happy. A few arm exercises, Susan encouraging, then she says “Turn the knob to the right.”
Found knob, did that.
Resistance to the pedaling. Not bad. A few minutes later. “Turn the knob right again.”
Did that, more resistance, losing happiness, but still pedaling.
“OK, let’s do a hill.”
I look at the stationary bike and see no way that it will affect and incline like the treadmills do. I look up. Susan is merrily pedaling away much faster than I am.
“Turn the knob right again.”
Much harder to pedal. Can no longer find “happy place”.
To do a hill I find out, you get your butt off the seat so you are standing as you pedal, making your legs carry your entire weight.
This, is not fun.
We do the hill for five minutes. Leaving happy place now entering annoyed land.
Sit my ass back down on the stick.
“Turn the knob right again.”
No! Right is bad! Left is good! Crap.
More pedaling. Shirt is now sticking to my body as the THREE fans in the Air conditioned room are not helping.
Take a drink from my water bottle, wishing it was something stronger.
“Let’s do another hill. Turn the knob right again.”
Son-of-a….
Pry my ass off the seat again as I heft my “body” up. Legs are not happy with me. I know they are plotting.
Now pedaling as the slowest person in the class. Ego gone on vacation.
Happy place now far away as “sweating-lanky geek land” appears on the horizon. Townspeople throw pocket protectors and sweatbands.
Sat back down and began the warm down.
Warm down ends and get off the bike. Now the legs see their opportunity for payback.
As I put my foot down on the firm floor, muscles weaken, knee fails and ankle laughs at me (I heard it).
Susan says “Stretch your right knee.”
Not liking Susan too much right now as I struggle to keep vertical, bracing on the bike as I bend my knee as requested.
More stretching and bending, more bracing and laughing from my legs.
Class ends and I walk down the stairs. A fun journey. Brain shouting orders to the legs to walk down like a normal person, legs flipping off my brain saying they like the “palsey” walk now.
Finally get downstairs.
Whirlpool.
Car.
STARBUCKS !!!!!!
Light Mocha Machiato! 4 points on Weight Watchers!
Legs still not happy and protesting, but brain in caffeine haze does not care.
Next class next week.
Hopefully my ass will be recovered by then.
IG